Sunday, March 4, 2012

Validation

Slightly more thoughtful post than usual.  2012 has been a year full of contemplation and self-analysis. 


We all seek validation somewhere.  People find them from different things:

Family:  Approval of family is a huge aspect.  There is a reason for the term "daddy issues".  It doesn't only apply to girls, even for guys, recognition from your father that they are proud of us is significant.  It also tends to show itself in the form of sibling rivalry, which is typically considered harmless.  

Friends: Having a group of people you can hang out with is crucial.  No, not the # of facebook friends, those don't count.  People you feel comfortable calling in the event something happens, with whom you can talk story and have no need to embellish/filter any details.  The type of people where even if you have not seen them for a few months/years, when you do get together it is as if no time has gone by. 

Significant Other:  It was valentine's day recently.  I read an article about how right before it there is a huge surge in membership growth because people don't want to be single, even if just for that day.   The fact that someone is willing to put up with be with you must mean that there are desirable qualities. 

Work/Contributions:  I almost said money on this one but this isn't true.  Income is often the form the "approval" comes in but it doesn't necessarily correlate.  For instance, if you are a social worker/teacher, your reward or satisfaction is obtained through non-monetary means.   Also, if you are wealthy but the source isn't yours (inherited), then it may not necessarily tie with your belief of intrinsic value.  If you are an 'artist' it may be defined by critical acclaim, etc.

Physical:  This is the most common one that almost everyone shares (assuming all my readers have a body.  The stats from google analytic hasn't said anything about readers from the other side yet) =P.
It is also a scary one because people will go to extreme lengths for this. Surgery, eating disorders, etc.   Perhaps my opinion may change as I grow older but the desire to maintain youthful appearances through botox just doesn't make any sense to me.  Sure, we all have vanity but...

I'd like to write a few different posts over the next couple weeks exploring each topic.  The main reason is probably because there are likely to be some changes in my life.  Not huge, but they do have me reconsidering my "identity" and how each of the above shape who I am and where I see myself in 5 years.

10 comments:

  1. it is good to consider who we are and who we are becoming you know...and where we get that validation from...you def did a good job identifying the places we can get it from...

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  2. I think we seek some form of validation when we blog as well.

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  3. I think people spend most of their lives either consciously or unconsciously seeking validation because we are wired to *want* to fit in and "belong".

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  4. Is it bad that my validation comes in the form of Blogger comments?

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  5. @Brian: Yeah, it was surprising how most forms of validation (at least for me) seemed to stem from one of those aspects.

    @Suthern: Very true. It's also amazing as a source because you get feedback/validation from such a diverse crowd.

    @Azra: Absolutely. I think being "conscious" of it can help you avoid the pitfalls but who knows?

    @ABFTS: Isn't that the case for most of us? I think that might be why there are so many "dating blogs" because in a way we're trying to seek validation for the relationship aspect. For you guys, I think this qualifies as the "work/contributions" as you're writers. And the # of followers/comments is a testament to your work.

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  6. I need serious work on all of these. Though if I get a decent job I'm certain the rest will be a lot easier to do.

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  7. Even though I have a significant other now I really don't care for Valentine's Day. It really does feel like society is telling you you aren't valid if you don't have a Valentine.

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  8. hey great to see you today..hope all is well....

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  9. Very interesting post. I'd like to think I'm... fairly well validated? I dunno.

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